Friday, April 13, 2012

The Male Darwinian Imperative

From the Garden of Eden onward, women's 'curse,' as it were--conception, pregnancy, birth--has in modern times been increasingly seen as a gender burden, and one unfairly derived (in contrast to the Biblical primal story--written and conceived by men--that implies it is all women's fault, their eternal penance for 'sinning' with the Devil/Snake). 

The new century is rightfully eager to alleviate women's negative consequences of their burden. We moderns properly worry about and seek to attain women's affordable access to contraception, the right to abortion, a woman's right to say 'no' at any time in sexual matters, her absolute right over her own body's usage. Thank God the mid-20th Century pill has entered women's life, and created freedom; 'free at last, free at last; good Lord almighty, free at last.'.

But what about men?

Do men have a curse as well, a primal gender burden worthy of examination...and a corollary search for new found freedom?

Some men would argue nature has unfairly sexually burdened them as well. Each man has to deal 24/7/365 with millions of sperm constantly crying every hour of every day to get out of their body. Random unwanted erections--and the constant urge/need to find an eventual blessed flaccid state through orgasm-- are seen by some men a curse. Proponents of this male-burden view say: imagine if men's minds weren't constantly on sex--if women's beauty were not a daily temptation and demand on men's concentration--imagine what men might have achieved in civilization?

Where is the male right to say: NO! We want to control our own bodies, too?

Their adversaries say: "Fine. Just say 'no;' male sex as nothing more than their self-centered pleasure seeking choice that men could stop pursuing if they wanted."

But I wish to assure them that from many men's experiences, the opposite is true; most of woman-chasing is not pleasure. It is an involuntary emotional obsession; an unconscious, overwhelmingly uncontrollable fact of life. It is not a choice, but a demand of that is amazingly time-consuming.

Chasing women is a constant unadulterated effort with rare certainty of payoff. All that money and effort to woo, seduce, charm, cajole and conquer women...for what? A possible (though, I repeat,  uncertain) fifteen second burst of stickiness? Orgasm benefits in the long run not the men themselves (other than the 15 seconds of release of unbearable tension), but, like its fellow gender 'curse', female menstruation, the sex drive is imposed on men by some greater Darwinian design: species ongoingness, to create human progeny (half of whom psychiatrist's assure us will try to kill us, the other half, the sweeter half, promise male fathers unconditional love us only to invariably leave us at the peak of their sweetness for another man).

If nature hadn't forced men to constantly seek out women, all male history may well have been altered: men might have remained contentedly in the jungle, hunting and pal-ing around with other guys. But because of nature's curse,  men are destined--propelled-- to leave the jungle, hunt the women, learn the lessons of domestication, marriage and child rearing--which causes men--at least in the earlier hundreds of thousands of years--to be burdened with most of civilization's 'grunt' work, having to protect our female mates who preferred (before the pill) staying with one of us singly rather than remaining fair game to dozens of other over-heated men every day, farming day and night (often hoeing through sometimes frozen tundra), hunting animals, preparing for and participating in war, creating nation states and governments not just for ourselves but primarily to protect our women and children. Increasing numbers of man are yearning for the jungle once again.

A plea from such men: now that women have contraception so that women can be more in control of their sexual natures (a life of intermittant sexual pleasure sans long term price), I hope scientists and social scientists will focus their attention on male need for a simiar corrective: the ability to regulate and lessen the timing and urgency of male sexual drive--without necessarily eradicating it fully. (NOTE to the opposite sex: women can help men in this regard: in learning to gather control over their own bodies/wardrobe by not exacerbating the male problem with their every-increasing upper cleavage and by reducing their ever-growing willingness to indulge in no-name and hook-up sex. Men find it hard...oun say 'no.')

As I look back on my life, I wish I had more of a choice in sexual matters, a controlling factor like the pill. I would have gladly traded in all of the multiple 15 seconds of orgiastic pleasure in my life, both self induced or otherwise (which probably added up to a grand total of two hours in a total lifetime!) for a returned that time back to the Darwinian Imperative. I cringe to even think of all the money, foolishness and time spent obeying the dictates of not my own brain, but of my groin.

I sometimes wish God had finished the snake-battle in the Garden of Eden in a different manner: not only defeated the Devil-as-Snake and banished Adam and Eve, but also just prior to our departure have cut off (maybe even never created!) the Snake-Between-My-Legs, my unfair and endless--still without a male pill--male Darwinian curse and burden.


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