Saturday, April 07, 2012

Augusta National Golf Course...and Men

Women are angry because the The Augusta National golf course is an all-male enclave; that no women are allowed as members (although they are allowed to play as invited guests.)

It's a private club, the law says, and the law allows the members to define how they want it...so that's the way it is.

Women, relax. It is a male conspiracy, but perhaps not in the way you think.

To begin with, probably most of the voting members are married.

Married men love golf because it gets them out of the house and away from the kids and wife. That's why they have such early starts on the golf course: so they can even skip breakfast.

Getting out of the house lies at the very origins of golf. What other reason would motivate men to create such a silly game...a bunch of guys hitting rocks (I'll bet it started that way) into mole holes in open fields--and no no matter what the weather? It had to be only to get away from the wife and kids.

What about the voting members who are single? They probably voted to exclude women because exclusivity allows them--at least for part of their day (the hours spent on the golf course)--to avoid their other major obsession: chasing women. Believe me...if women were present at Augusta single men would chase them. And men's personalities would change. They would cease liking each other and become ferocious competitors...it's in the reproductive genes. Their golf games would suffer.

So women, forgive the men of Augusta. The urban ghettos have their male exclusivity domains: the 'stoop', the basketball court and the street corner. The rich (at August golf course) need a sanctuary also, to still say "fuck," clear their nasal sinuses and throats, spit for distance, scratch their genitals and pick their underwear out of the crease in their behind without women around to feel embarrassed.

That's at the core of millennial male exclusivity, women, whether at Augusta or other places. It is not business tactics, or male chauvinism; it is men's basic awareness of their social-habit inferiority, and their desire to be free to be what they are but strive desperately to hide: common, for at least a few hours a week.

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