The Trials and Tribulations of a Bitch

I feel bitchy tonight.

What is "bitchy"; anyway?

I tell my students its unwarranted hostility aimed indiscriminately outward.

I told an acting student once I didn't like his work, his approach, his attitude in a scene. He accused me of homophobia. I just stared at him a moment, then retorted: "No. I just don't like bitches whether they're men or women."

And that includes myself. Especially tonight.

You know how sometimes you want to climb a mountain just because its there. Well, I might be bitchy to you tonight just because you're there...whoever the hell you are. And wherever you are. Just be glad I'm home alone now at the computer.

Bitchy is attacking something or someone just because you want to; not have to.

Some bitches like their bitching subtle; attacking with a pin prick rather than blunt object. I'm generally do that; often with my wife. Let's say I'm in a bad mood with my work and I take it out on her. So subtly that she doesn't even know she's bleeding from the bitch-attack until an hour later.

However, when she attacks me back, that's not bitchiness, that's justifiable self-defense. Until she's keep doing it all day and night. Then it's overwhelming bitchiness. Oh boy. is it ever bitchiness.

Sometimes I kick the dog because there's no frozen yogurt in the refrigerator. (Just an example. I don't have a dog.) Or I blow fallen leaves into the neighbor's yard just because I can get away with it. (I have a neighbor)

I could go on and on with examples (I have hundreds of them, most true; most I've done) but I know longer feel bitchy. That's the benefit of writing. You can take it out on the computer.

But do it gently though; it might have a meltdown. Come to think of it; there is no greater bitch than your computer. It often takes things out on you--like freezing up, or long updates--just because you're there.

Bitchy computer.