Thursday, May 31, 2007

A Suggestion for Toilet Seat Etquette

"Men are constantly being told to 'put the seat down'" the young man complained. "Why? Why do we man have to put it down, and women feel 'dissed' if they have to pick it up?"

"Because," I said, "if we leave it up, and they sit without realizing, they may inadvertently fall in and hurt themselves; whereas, if women leave it down and a man doesn't realize it, the worse than can happen is that he pisses on the seat and has to wipe it up.

The young man was not satisfied with my answer.

"I have a solution," I said. "Whoever finishes, man or woman, they put down BOTH toilet coverings: the seat and the top cover. Then: when using the toilet, women pick up one surface, the top cover, and do their business; on the other hand, when men use the toilet, they pick up both seat and top covering when urinating, or, if defecating, just the top cover. When both finish, they put down both covers again. In such toilet etiquette, both men and women will be courteous and considerate to each other, and both will be required to do the same work: the similar act of covering the bowl when we finish, and bending over and lifting before we start. Fair, no?"

I had made a young man happy.


Blogger Myles said...

that's fair.

6:34 PM  

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